Last night when I realized we needed to get the garbage & recycling to the curb, Brian's response was, and I quote: "I wasn't here so it's not up to me to take any of it out" He got back on Thursday and trash day is Tuesday, so I beg to differ, but that is of no consequence.
How can I live with someone with that attitude? Even though it is not at all out of character, I can't help but be amazed when I hear such a statement.
I'm going through one of my phases. . . disgruntled. . . I guess everyone goes through it once in a while. I wish it would pass -- it's a waste of time, but I can't get beyond it.
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Bad Brian Day. . .
You've heard of bad hair days? Well I'm having a bad Brian day. . . It is just one of those times when he seems even more preposterous than usual and try as I may to let his idiotic comments roll off my back, I just can't seem to let them go. Like when he came up to me with a few strands of my hair that he pulled out of the dust pan when he swept the floor in the kitchen and told me there was too much of my hair on the floor!! What does he expect me to do about it? I mean, really. . .
What was the next thing -- he is lucky I have such a bad memory -- it only works in his favor. . . What was it?? I waited too long, now I've forgotten. Oh yeah, he was berating me for sitting at my computer all day. . . I tried to tell him that I have 5 reports to write and more inspections coming up next week, so I need to sit here & write them, besides, it's not as if there is anything else that is pulling me away. . . (I know he thinks that I sit here doing what he does when he's on his computer -- surf the web -- looking for hours at sites like Second Use & Craigslist & anything to do with boats & real estate in addition to watching U-tube music videos. . . I admit, I do check my emails & FB but I don't surf much during the day -- I save that for evening when I don't have my wits about me. . .)
What we need more than anything is income & that's what I'm doing here. . .not to mention that the printer was acting up so I had to uninstall & reinstall the driver which took time & was quite frustrating. Brian is (finally) realizing that the times are not what they were & his useless items like the dump truck and the boat-that-isn't-floating aren't flying out the door because they aren't worth anything. If he's going to try to sell things, he's got to sell some of his stuff that's worth something. Like the hardwood floor that he sold. That went fairly quickly. Because it was worth something. I am finding out that Brian gets way more credit for his so-called intelligence than he deserves. He really is about as smart as he appears to be. Scary thought. . .
What was the next thing -- he is lucky I have such a bad memory -- it only works in his favor. . . What was it?? I waited too long, now I've forgotten. Oh yeah, he was berating me for sitting at my computer all day. . . I tried to tell him that I have 5 reports to write and more inspections coming up next week, so I need to sit here & write them, besides, it's not as if there is anything else that is pulling me away. . . (I know he thinks that I sit here doing what he does when he's on his computer -- surf the web -- looking for hours at sites like Second Use & Craigslist & anything to do with boats & real estate in addition to watching U-tube music videos. . . I admit, I do check my emails & FB but I don't surf much during the day -- I save that for evening when I don't have my wits about me. . .)
What we need more than anything is income & that's what I'm doing here. . .not to mention that the printer was acting up so I had to uninstall & reinstall the driver which took time & was quite frustrating. Brian is (finally) realizing that the times are not what they were & his useless items like the dump truck and the boat-that-isn't-floating aren't flying out the door because they aren't worth anything. If he's going to try to sell things, he's got to sell some of his stuff that's worth something. Like the hardwood floor that he sold. That went fairly quickly. Because it was worth something. I am finding out that Brian gets way more credit for his so-called intelligence than he deserves. He really is about as smart as he appears to be. Scary thought. . .
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Happy (?) New Year + my resolution
The New Year. Can't be as bad as the last, can it? I guess it could -- it could be worse, I suppose. I hope not, but I don't hold out hope that it won't be. Does that make any sense?? It does to me. . .
I have, almost since I started writing this, been hoping that I'd be able to turn this thing around and transition into writing interesting thoughts -- something that might actually be readable by someone other than myself. . . and I was especially hopeful that I might be able to start the new year off with something good to say.
However, I continue to find myself in definite need of "the blog as therapy" -- I am more frustrated than ever with my situation -- I feel more trapped and more hopeless and just more of all things awful. I joined Facebook, for the second time, this fall, and I think I decided to make a go of it this time mainly because I am desperate for some human interaction -- I feel so isolated, it is great to be able to just sit here at the computer and correspond with many different people on many different levels. . . The thing is, I would love to write smart little quips about this and that, things that make people think or laugh or gasp. . . things that usually come naturally to me on a regular basis. But of late, nothing; not a thing comes to mind (that I can write in a (semi) public place) or I should say, that I want to write. I can only think of doom and gloom comments that really are best kept to myself. So I am relegated to banal comments that you could expect to hear from your great aunt Polly. . . I get to reach out and communicate with people, only now I am finding I have nothing to say. . . I am regressing in mind, body and soul, and I don't even know if regressing is the right word -- I am not going backwards to a place I've been before, I am going sideways to a place I've never been and never would want to go -- a place that is not about me, at least the me I've always thought I was. . .
But now I am not only regressing, I am digressing. Back to the New Year. I did make one New Year's resolution -- to get off of this island more! (truth be told, it should be to get off of this island all together!) As Cam says, I don't have cabin-fever, I have Island-fever! Brian, Mackenzie & I were sitting around talking about resolutions on New years day, and Mackenzie said she wanted to eat better -- less junk food, and I said I wanted to get off the island more and then I asked Brian what his was. He said he "wanted to make things easier on himself in the future" (!!!!) I could not prevent myself from exploding in incredulous laughter! I mean, if that does not epitomize his approach to life, I don't know what does. . . I see no need to resolve to do that in the new year -- those are words that Brian lives by every day of his life! That was the end of the New Years Resolution conversation, I can tell you that!
I have, almost since I started writing this, been hoping that I'd be able to turn this thing around and transition into writing interesting thoughts -- something that might actually be readable by someone other than myself. . . and I was especially hopeful that I might be able to start the new year off with something good to say.
However, I continue to find myself in definite need of "the blog as therapy" -- I am more frustrated than ever with my situation -- I feel more trapped and more hopeless and just more of all things awful. I joined Facebook, for the second time, this fall, and I think I decided to make a go of it this time mainly because I am desperate for some human interaction -- I feel so isolated, it is great to be able to just sit here at the computer and correspond with many different people on many different levels. . . The thing is, I would love to write smart little quips about this and that, things that make people think or laugh or gasp. . . things that usually come naturally to me on a regular basis. But of late, nothing; not a thing comes to mind (that I can write in a (semi) public place) or I should say, that I want to write. I can only think of doom and gloom comments that really are best kept to myself. So I am relegated to banal comments that you could expect to hear from your great aunt Polly. . . I get to reach out and communicate with people, only now I am finding I have nothing to say. . . I am regressing in mind, body and soul, and I don't even know if regressing is the right word -- I am not going backwards to a place I've been before, I am going sideways to a place I've never been and never would want to go -- a place that is not about me, at least the me I've always thought I was. . .
But now I am not only regressing, I am digressing. Back to the New Year. I did make one New Year's resolution -- to get off of this island more! (truth be told, it should be to get off of this island all together!) As Cam says, I don't have cabin-fever, I have Island-fever! Brian, Mackenzie & I were sitting around talking about resolutions on New years day, and Mackenzie said she wanted to eat better -- less junk food, and I said I wanted to get off the island more and then I asked Brian what his was. He said he "wanted to make things easier on himself in the future" (!!!!) I could not prevent myself from exploding in incredulous laughter! I mean, if that does not epitomize his approach to life, I don't know what does. . . I see no need to resolve to do that in the new year -- those are words that Brian lives by every day of his life! That was the end of the New Years Resolution conversation, I can tell you that!
Saturday, November 21, 2009
My Latest Life
I am trying to get used to the new me leading my latest life. As I recently wrote to Jack, I hope it's a short segment. I am surprised that I don't hate it, although I must admit I am having a bit of trouble being submissive (not the word I'm looking for exactly but I am too lazy, I should say, the new me is not resourceful enough to come up with the right term. . .) both at home and now at work. I have two men issuing orders and I am the one that must ask how high when they say jump. I am not sure how this, like many other things these days, happened -- I only know that it has and here I am. It really seems, and I may be inferring that something that is only coincidence is more relevant, but it does seem that since we got married, Brian has become more and more controlling. He has to tell me what to do and when to do it and offer unsolicited advice on everything from how I make my bed to where I keep my shoes to how I sit when I am at the computer. . . But at least I can offer a wide range of retorts to him, though they do nothing other than pacify me. . .
So now, I have this boss who is unable to delegate even the menial tasks to someone new on the scene, even someone who has a college degree and (literally) decades of experience in the working world of an office existence. I mean, I am working my way through the task-list, and generally doing an okay job, but after an entire month on the job (part-time, but even yet. . .) I am still not allowed to answer the phone!! Should I be insulted?? Or should I question my capabilities?? I am going with insulted. He did explain that it is of the utmost importance that a mistake not be made with the appointment calender, and I did make a couple of errors the first few times he handed me some trial appointments to book and breathed down my neck while I tried to make them, but once I figured out where I was messing up, like after the next 2 tries, I had it down, but I'd already sabotaged any chance I had of telephone answering this year. I'll try to be patient and hope the new year brings me a renewed opportunity. After all, if I did make a mistake and the world did come to an end, 2010 is a much more appropriate year to end on -- more dynamic!
So aside from the issues with the telephone answering, there are other aspects to the job. I enjoy interacting with all the animals, just as I thought I would. If only I'd really thought this through and realized that there was a lot more to it than just seeing a variety of animals. I don't know what I was thinking. First, there are the surgeries --quite a number of them, really. It is quite amazing how many animals are out there, and how many new ones are arriving on the scene and need spaying and neutering etc, etc. Not to mention the cases of cats with BB's in their legs and dogs with torn ACL's (or the canine equivilent) and tail amputations and tumor removals and cat enemas. . . None are anything I want to witness, let alone participate in. But I am. Last, but not least, are the euthanasias. Now, this is something that I condone, but again, not something that I want to participate in any more than absolutely necessary. However, as it happens, I am the one that has to hold the animal while the vet injects the potion, which means I am the one holding the animal while it dies. Not what I was envisioning for myself in my mid-life. In any life. I take a little consolation in being that person and at that at least a kind and caring touch is the last thing these animals experience, but that does not make it worth while. I actually can't quite believe that I am really doing this. It is one of the many things these days that cause me to wonder whether or not I'm living parallel lives. . .
Well, having had to go in to work this am, on my day off, to put a cat named Madeleine to sleep, I may be feeling just a little resentful (ya think??) but I am hanging in there, hoping that I can bale sooner than later. Speaking of which, the espresso-mocha that I took out is likely soup by now, so I will write more later about the rest of my latest life, and maybe I'll be in a better frame of mind by then, esp. if I do it directly after the ice-cream break. . .
So now, I have this boss who is unable to delegate even the menial tasks to someone new on the scene, even someone who has a college degree and (literally) decades of experience in the working world of an office existence. I mean, I am working my way through the task-list, and generally doing an okay job, but after an entire month on the job (part-time, but even yet. . .) I am still not allowed to answer the phone!! Should I be insulted?? Or should I question my capabilities?? I am going with insulted. He did explain that it is of the utmost importance that a mistake not be made with the appointment calender, and I did make a couple of errors the first few times he handed me some trial appointments to book and breathed down my neck while I tried to make them, but once I figured out where I was messing up, like after the next 2 tries, I had it down, but I'd already sabotaged any chance I had of telephone answering this year. I'll try to be patient and hope the new year brings me a renewed opportunity. After all, if I did make a mistake and the world did come to an end, 2010 is a much more appropriate year to end on -- more dynamic!
So aside from the issues with the telephone answering, there are other aspects to the job. I enjoy interacting with all the animals, just as I thought I would. If only I'd really thought this through and realized that there was a lot more to it than just seeing a variety of animals. I don't know what I was thinking. First, there are the surgeries --quite a number of them, really. It is quite amazing how many animals are out there, and how many new ones are arriving on the scene and need spaying and neutering etc, etc. Not to mention the cases of cats with BB's in their legs and dogs with torn ACL's (or the canine equivilent) and tail amputations and tumor removals and cat enemas. . . None are anything I want to witness, let alone participate in. But I am. Last, but not least, are the euthanasias. Now, this is something that I condone, but again, not something that I want to participate in any more than absolutely necessary. However, as it happens, I am the one that has to hold the animal while the vet injects the potion, which means I am the one holding the animal while it dies. Not what I was envisioning for myself in my mid-life. In any life. I take a little consolation in being that person and at that at least a kind and caring touch is the last thing these animals experience, but that does not make it worth while. I actually can't quite believe that I am really doing this. It is one of the many things these days that cause me to wonder whether or not I'm living parallel lives. . .
Well, having had to go in to work this am, on my day off, to put a cat named Madeleine to sleep, I may be feeling just a little resentful (ya think??) but I am hanging in there, hoping that I can bale sooner than later. Speaking of which, the espresso-mocha that I took out is likely soup by now, so I will write more later about the rest of my latest life, and maybe I'll be in a better frame of mind by then, esp. if I do it directly after the ice-cream break. . .
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
We're in the money. . .would that it were true. . .
So I am really employed now. . . two jobs, neither of which I know anything about. One thing is for sure -- it should keep my brain occupied -- I don't need to do Sudoku anymore -- each day I am learning something new. I guess that's good -- although my "old" job wasn't exactly ho hum. . . I really could never complain about it being the same old, same old. . .
But anyway, no time to blog, there's money to be made. . . it's almost laughable, but I got my first paycheque today from my Vet Ass. job. . . and meager though it was, I have to admit, it feels good to actually be making money -- even a small amount.
But anyway, no time to blog, there's money to be made. . . it's almost laughable, but I got my first paycheque today from my Vet Ass. job. . . and meager though it was, I have to admit, it feels good to actually be making money -- even a small amount.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
All about work
I am back in the world of the working and I'm here to report that it is tolerable. Strange to think of how my identity has changed. For some reason I associate it with this island -- I'm not sure why I am so hard on it, but I am. I think at another time I would have had such a romantic vision of the island, and would have found it idyllic in so many ways. But now it symbolizes -- I don't know exactly what -- regression I guess. . . And regression in many ways -- comfort and security, health and welfare, happiness -- it has all declined significantly. Maybe it just has to go down before it comes back up. The cycle of life, so-to-speak. One of these days I may figure it out. In the meantime I will continue to stumble along.
So I have worked a week at my new job, but I am trying even harder to get the other new job. It's a full-time job just trying to get a part-time job! We spent the last 2 whole days getting info. out and it's been stressful! We both had our first drug tests ever on Friday. So that was something new. Then we had to get the employment package together and send it off on Sat. Of course, the closest FedEx location that is opened on a Sat. was at the airport, so it involved another trip into Seattle, which meant another entire day lost. I don't know why I decided to involve Brian in this application. Have I said that before?? He just makes things so much more difficult than they otherwise would be, if it were just me on the application. For example, on Fri. I wanted to get into Seattle early and get the paperwork complete and either send it out Fri. or at least get the fax out on Fri. But of course, Brian waited until Fri. am to discover he had no idea where his passport was, then spent the entire morning tearing apart the place looking for it. In the end, he found it, but we didn't get our of here until noon. I know, I know. It could have just as easily been me searching for my passport. Only I did get my stuff together the night before so I'd be ready to go, so IF I would have been searching, it still would have more than likely been Thur. night. . . On the plus side, we did get to take 2 great walks in Lincoln Park! That was definitely the best part of both days!
Anyway, I do hope we get this job. We'll be "in the money!" Ha. . .Ha. . .Ha. . . That IS a laugh!
So I have worked a week at my new job, but I am trying even harder to get the other new job. It's a full-time job just trying to get a part-time job! We spent the last 2 whole days getting info. out and it's been stressful! We both had our first drug tests ever on Friday. So that was something new. Then we had to get the employment package together and send it off on Sat. Of course, the closest FedEx location that is opened on a Sat. was at the airport, so it involved another trip into Seattle, which meant another entire day lost. I don't know why I decided to involve Brian in this application. Have I said that before?? He just makes things so much more difficult than they otherwise would be, if it were just me on the application. For example, on Fri. I wanted to get into Seattle early and get the paperwork complete and either send it out Fri. or at least get the fax out on Fri. But of course, Brian waited until Fri. am to discover he had no idea where his passport was, then spent the entire morning tearing apart the place looking for it. In the end, he found it, but we didn't get our of here until noon. I know, I know. It could have just as easily been me searching for my passport. Only I did get my stuff together the night before so I'd be ready to go, so IF I would have been searching, it still would have more than likely been Thur. night. . . On the plus side, we did get to take 2 great walks in Lincoln Park! That was definitely the best part of both days!
Anyway, I do hope we get this job. We'll be "in the money!" Ha. . .Ha. . .Ha. . . That IS a laugh!
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